Q. Where can I find the full post about Michelle’s adoption discovery and your family’s adoption reunion?
A. You can read the full post about Michelle’s 2017 adoption discovery by Ancestry DNA test, and our family’s adoption reunion here.
Q. Why didn’t Michelle’s adoptive parents tell her she was adopted? Did she ever suspect she was adopted?
A. Despite statements made in 1976 and 1977 to secure the adoption, Michelle’s adoptive parents never told her she was adopted, and clearly never intended to. Due to various circumstances within Michelle’s adoptive family, she had no suspicion that she was adopted until after she received the DNA match to her sister in 2017. Looking back, Michelle has been able to identify numerous red flags that existed throughout her life. Unfortunately, over the course of forty years, an enormous number of lies were crafted to prevent Michelle from seeing these red flags, and to purposely mislead her into believing she couldn’t be anything but their biological child. There are other issues that we don’t wish to discuss publicly, but there was obviously much more going on behind closed doors that contributed to all of this.
Q. Did anyone from Michelle’s adoptive family know she was adopted?
A. Yes. Virtually everyone in Michelle’s adoptive parents’ life at the time of the adoption knew the truth. Prior to the adoption, the adoptive parents had not told anyone (or very few people) about their plans to adopt–right up until the day they brought Michelle to their home. Even the adoptive grandparents and immediate family members were not told. So when they suddenly had a newborn in their possession, it would have stood out to anyone who knew them at the time (ex. family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, acquaintances, the mailman, etc.) Even if someone had not been told of the adoption directly, any reasonable person would have concluded that they adopted a baby considering there was no pregnancy. Over the years, numerous individuals had been told about the adoption, or learned about the adoption through others. Even as recently as 2013 new individuals were told about Michelle’s adoption by her adoptive father. The only person who was never told was Michelle.
Q. How many biological siblings does Michelle have? Are her parents still together?
A. Michelle has three full biological siblings–all sisters: Jenni, Jamie and Jodi. Their parents, Hollie and Rick, have been together since they were 13 years old. They stayed together after Michelle’s birth in 1976 and they are still happily married today. Hollie and Rick now have eight grandchildren as well!
Q. I think my adoption was arranged through the same attorney.
A. Michelle’s adoption was arranged in 1976 by Edward Kent of the firm Kent, Grayer & Rosenberg located in Willingboro, New Jersey (Burlington County.) If you think your adoption might have been arranged by this firm we would love to hear from you. If you placed a child for adoption with this firm, or adopted a child through this firm (or considered it but never went through with it) we would also love to hear from you.
Q. Are you anti-adoption?
A. We are not against adoptions that are arranged as ethically and openly as possible, with fully-informed, consenting biological parents who are not motivated to place their child for adoption due to temporary circumstances in their life that can reasonably be improved over time. We are completely opposed to closed adoptions or situations where an adoptee will not be openly informed about their adoption status from very early childhood. We believe that most children, outside of situations involving abuse, neglect, etc., belong with their biological families. Unfortunately, this is not always possible for a variety of reasons. Adoption is, and always will be, necessary for children who are truly in need of permanent homes when no biological family members are able, or qualified, to provide care for them. In the United States, this is especially true for older children and children with complicated medical and mental health needs. Unfortunately, many people still see adoption as a service for adults who wish to create a family (especially with newborn adoption) as opposed to being a service for children who are truly in need. People tend to equate the amount of money adoptive parents have to being better or more qualified parents than biological parents, and that this will unquestionably be better for the child. This is a serious problem and where many of the issues we have with adoption begin (ex. coercion tactics, commodification of adoptees, consent of biological parents, etc.) We will make a separate post about these issues at a later date.
Q. Where are the newspaper articles about the adoption attorney?
A.You can read the newspaper articles discussing the indictment against the adoption attorney here.
Q. I am a student / writer / teacher / journalist / producer researching an issue related to adoption. Are you available for an interview?
A. Yes. Please write to us to discuss your questions or areas of research, and which members of our family you are interested in speaking with. Thank you!